Confessions of an Alpha Cook

As a special Valentine’s Day treat, the New York Times printed an article entitled, “He Cooks. She Stews. It’s Love.”

Basically, it is about the power struggles married or cohabiting couples experience in the kitchen when it comes to daily meal preparation, cleanup, entertaining and just plain chores. Naming the primary cook in a couple the “alpha cook,” and the other member of the couple the “beta cook” (at least they didn’t adopt the newly trendy parlance of BDSM and call them “tops” and “bottoms”), the article stated that what often happens is that despite the fact that many beta cooks have perfectly adequate cooking skills, they often get treated to a litany of criticism, humiliation and impatience by the alpha cook to the point that many of them retreat from the kitchen altogether. (Hrmm. Maybe that BSDM lingo is more appropriate than it first seems.)

And, while there were a few examples of female alphas and male betas, most of the article focused on alpha male behavior in the kitchen and how tiresome and destructive it can be. One male alpha cook even stated: “Men have gotten better at cooking, and that’s all positive,” Mr. Richman said. “But men can’t share. If you can find a man who’s O.K. with a woman being in charge in the kitchen, tell any woman to marry him immediately.”

Whoa. Dude. Whatever happened to equality? You know, share and share alike?

And what a switch from Betty Friedan’s 1950′s when women were expected to have dinner on the table every night for her husband, as well as being “the hostess with the mostess” while her husband might be trusted to pour drinks and grill saurian-sized slabs of meat over a charcoal fire.I mean, which is worse–being expected to be the chief cook and cleanup crew, day in and day out, while getting accolades from the guests on the delectable feasts prepared, or being the unappreciated prep cook and dishwasher who is never appreciated by the guests, the host or anyone?

I can’t even begin to figure that one out.

However, it isn’t like I have one ounce of room to talk.

I admit to being an alpha cook, big time, however, I do attempt to moderate my critiques of those who graciously help out in the kitchen.

But what about Zak, my beloved soulmate husband? Is he the beta cook?

Hardly, though at one time he did try the job out for size.

Back about eight years ago, when I was successfully teaching culinary arts publicly and privately, he decided to become a student of mine. We decided we would use the dinner prep hours three times a week so he could learn how to cook.

It was an utter and complete disaster, and not because of Zak.

It was because of me.

In the classroom, and among the private students who came to my home for lessons, I was known as the soul of patience, wit, and generosity who would not hesitate to demonstrate a particularly tricky technique fifty two times if I had to, and who would answer as many questions as it took to get a point across. I was praised in evaluation forms as being a font of knowledge and creativity who always inspired her students to keep trying new techniques, recipes and ingredients, all with good humor and self-deprecation.

Well, I would like to say I was the same way with Zak, but I am ashamed to admit that I wasn’t.

I was impatient. I would show Zak a technique, and when he didn’t get it right away, I would sigh and roll my eyes. Zak’s culinary timidity did not help the situation, but it was mostly my own fault. He would struggle to cut vegetables precisely enough to stir fry evenly, and instead of just accepting imperfection, and being patient with the fact that he was slow at cutting, I would end up doing most of the cutting myself without giving him a chance to learn.

I discovered that trying to teach someone while I am hungry and attempting to cook dinner after a long day of personal cheffing or teaching was not a good idea. It brought out every ounce of my own native impatience, bossiness, and every insufferable quality I had witnessed among male chefs and culinary students during my education, and I didn’t like it.

As much as I disliked it, Zak hated it, and he put down his knife in frustration one night and has seldom picked it up since.

Even now, he will cook with Morganna, but not with me, and I have no one but myself to blame for that.

As for Morganna, after my failed experiment in teaching Zak, I have learned to be more patient in the kitchen, even when I am cooking dinner and starving. She is growing quite well into a budding culinary artist, though she has her own alpha cook shadow to confront. I have caught her now and again bossing around her friends mercilessly in the kitchen and have intervened. Once, she even had the temerity to snap at me that I was in her way in the kitchen.

I mildly smiled and informed her that a chef is never in the way in her own kitchen.

But, even as I try very hard to be quiet and compassionate in my kitchen, even as I am dismembering vegetables and dead animals and frying them or otherwise exposing them to soaring flames, I am told by my father in law that I am one of the most intimidating persons he knows, especially in the kitchen. And, I will admit to, even recently, (at Morganna’s birthday party last month) barking at Karl to not argue with me over how chafing dishes work, since I was the one who used to be a caterer, while he only used to be a doctor. He forgave me though, taking into account that I was feeding over twenty people an Indian feast of over twelve dishes and three desserts.

I have learned, however, that rather than accept help in the kitchen from others, sometimes it is just best to refuse politely, and do it myself. When Karl was visiting with his father last month, I was preparing a Chinese meal with homestyle bean curd and stir fried mixed vegetables. When Karl asked if he could help me prep anything, I smiled and said, “I love you, but no, thank you.”

I would have been fine if I had stopped there. Instead, out burst from my mouth, “This cutting requires precision, and as much as I love you, you are not precise.”

Sigh.

At least Karl took it well, with a laugh and a smile. He knew I didn’t mean it in any unkind way; I was just being honest. Maybe a bit more honest than perfect politeness required, but well, I am not perfect.

I guess I need to keep struggling to keep my alpha cook tendencies at bay. (Thank goodness for my study of Zen, the exercise of mindfulness. It helps. A lot.)

So, now that I have made my own confession, what about the rest of you? Any alpha cooks out there? How alpha are you?

And you betas–speak up, too. I want to hear from everyone.

Especially those of you who somehow manage to work and play well with others without falling into either category.

30 Comments

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  1. My husband and I have pretty much always shared the kitchen. He learned to cook (learned to cook well, that is) when I was pregnant, and couldn’t stand the smell of food cooking. So he would cook and I would clean up. These days, he typically cooks and cleans up since it’s his only chore around the house – I take care of everything else for the most part.

    I would say I’m the better cook and make more interesting meals, but our kids prefer simple fare anyway. The older son can heat or microwave or use the rice cooker, the younger one can cook about anything he wants, even make bread. He enjoys cooking but doesn’t do it often. Neither of them sees cooking as a male or female task.

    Husband went to knife skills class and now cuts up most everything. I’m adequate at it, but let him do it because he likes to. We’ve gone to cooking classes together and enjoy cooking together when we do.

    I guess I’m alpha but he’s more than capable and I leave him alone when he cooks.

    Comment by donna — February 14, 2007 #

  2. I guess Dean and I are quite the exception. When we met, he didn’t even have a pan to his name (he’ll disagree) and it’s amazing he didn’t have scurvy from the terrible diet he ate. So I did all the cooking. But then I learned he could bake – WELL. So now if I’m cooking, he’s my sous chef when he’s home, and if he’s baking, I’m his sous baker, so to speak.

    We’ve got quite a system in play – a couple of years ago, we catered a dinner for 30, in a hotel with no oven, just a cook top and microwave. And it was a big success. He’s still not great at cooking, but he’s okay. And if I’m sick, or swamped with work, or whatever, he can take over the task, and make a dinner that is more than acceptable. It won’t be something fancy, but I don’t cook fancy every night either. (Although tonight it’s French onion soup and some kind of chocolate something for dessert.)

    Comment by Kymster — February 14, 2007 #

  3. TOTALLY alpha here – my poor husband just stays out of the way and enjoys the results (but he washes dishes so I’m ok with that). I’m even alpha with my mother – who TAUGHT me to cook – because I never think she’s careful enough or cooks anything long enough (that pie top must be GOLDEN BROWN and BUBBLING, not BEIGE for crying out loud). It’s just terrible when I am home for holidays – I have to get my hands in everything or I never think it’s done right.

    And yet, I love her cooking. I just have this nagging voice that tells me “Oh, that looks good, but if she’d just do _____ then it would be PERFECT!”

    I’m working on being more Zen when I’m in her kitchen – it makes for more peaceful holidays. :)

    Comment by Tammy — February 14, 2007 #

  4. Gosh this is very timely! I left my husband instructions as to how to make dinner yesterday and we wound up with a burnt pan of rice, but a really wonderful curry that had been left to its own devices for long enough to really taste wonderful. He’s not been in the kitchen for so long that he doesnt even trust his instincts cooking rice!

    Its a good reminder that I need to cut people some slack, I make some mistakes and make nasty food sometimes too!!

    Comment by jenny — February 14, 2007 #

  5. LOL! My husband and I have a strange cooking relationship. I’m the culinary school graduate that currently bakes bread for a living, and I work the graveyard shift. For that reason, James cooks most of the eveing meals for the week (I cook dinners on the one day of the week I’m home and don’t have college classes). I completely stay out of the kitchen when he is cooking, unless he specifically asks me for help, because I am a terrible alpha cook, and most people tell me that I can be very aggresive. However, I appreciate what James does so much that I very much TRY (and sometimes I don’t succeed) not to intrude where my “advice” is not wanted.
    We both love cooking though and are pretty much on the same page on what we like to eat and what new things we’d like to try.

    I am incredibly bad with this alpha business when people are cooking eggs. I was a short order breakfast cook for a long time when I was in culinary school, and the non-existent egg cooking skills of the average person really burn me up. I HATE overcooked eggs, especially omlets, so when anyone is cooking eggs for me, I have to literay hold my lips closed so at not to be completely ungracious.

    Comment by Roxanne Rieske — February 14, 2007 #

  6. I am totally the alpha. Well… to be honest, I’m the ONLY cook in our house. DH can boil pasta, scramble eggs or microwave quesadillas. I honestly don’t know how the man survived as a bachelor so long without some serious disease. Needless to say, when I moved in, he was more than happy to turn over the control of the kitchen to me. When I was commuting to work every day, I’d call when I hit the bridge to tell him to start the pasta now, so it would be hot and ready for me when I walked in the door. Now that he’s the one commuting, he comes home most evenings to a hot homecooked meal and a warm hug. For a while there (before he started commuting), he was cooking one night a week. We would go through recipes and pick one out that we like, and I would shop for him and let him cook dinner. I’d hand him the recipe, locate ingredients for him, and walk away. If he had a question, I was happy to help, but I could not stand in the kitchen and watch. He’s actually pretty good at following a simple recipe, and has even made my sloppy joes from scratch.

    The one place my Alpha-ness really comes out in the kitchen though is with the dishes. I don’t care if there’s not a single clean dish left, he is not allowed to do them. The way he loads the dishwasher drives me nuts, and I will actually start a fight if he tries to do them while I’m home (although right now he just chalks it up to pregnancy hormones and walks away). I don’t care if he washes them by hand, but if he tries to load the dishwasher, he’s got a fight on his hands.

    Comment by Cris — February 14, 2007 #

  7. I’m a TOTAL alpha cook. No doubt.

    And while I’m not married, I had to chuckle at your description of working with Zack. I think it’s easy to be critical of family. May parents are staying with me a few weeks, and while they have been here I really won’t let them help me cook, because I just get hyper critical. Or I find myself doing things like re-chopping their chopped garlic bacuse, well, it just isn’t fine enough! I have turned into the knife Nazi (“what is this knife doing unwashed and under the cutting board? why wasn’t it washed and put away after use? No – knives CANNOT be put in the drying rack with the other silverware. No, knives CANNOT go in the dishwasher…”). I do have them almost trained about the knives, but they freely admit that they will not keep up their good habits when they return home.

    It’s not as dire as it sounds. Mom hangs out in the kitchen while I prep and cook and we chat aimiably. It only gets dicey when they try to help cook.

    Breakfasts we each do on our own.

    Comment by Diane — February 14, 2007 #

  8. Unlike yours with the 2 kitchens, I mindfully bought a house with a kitchen sooooooooo small that 2 people literally cannot be in it at once. So no one helps me cook.

    I work evenings and only cook when I am off, and my son and husband are perfectly able to find themselves something to eat when I am not there (although I do make extra-large dishes so as to have left-overs). But when I am cooking only I am cooking.

    I had to laugh at the dishwasher story because I am exactly the same.

    I should mention that my husband does all the cleaning so that it doesn’t seem that we are unequal in our chore-age. Separate but equal…..didn’t I see that somewhere else???

    He is scathing about using too much water while mopping; far worse than I am about stirring or chopping.

    Comment by wwjudith — February 14, 2007 #

  9. Oh, I never realized I was an alpha cook until I read your article. I was a terror at Thanksgiving, even bringing my kitchen gadgets to my friend’s house because I wanted the ones I liked and was used to. My husband rarely cooks because I complain about what he makes even though it’s often quite tasty if somewhat simple. I thought he was happy to have me do all the cooking, but maybe he’s afraid of me. Yikes, something to think about.

    Comment by Sylvia — February 14, 2007 #

  10. Oh my goodness, this is me to a T!

    My husband lived at home until we were married so he went from one home, with Mom cooking to my home with the wife cooking. I have tried to get him into the kitchen, to get interested in cooking, but he’ll have none of it. He’s happy being the dishwasher.

    Oh, and I second bringing my own stuff with me. As a personal chef myself, I am pretty particular about my knives. And for some reason, whenever I am invited to a party, asked to help, they always give me the task of chopping/slicing/dicing stuff. While I don’t mind the task, I can’t STAND how folks have crappy knives! Or worse, good knives that are dull and mistreated. So, I took to taking my own with me. Folks think I’m nuts, but hey… if you want my help, you have to live with this condition. :-)

    Comment by Maggi — February 14, 2007 #

  11. This discussion is making me laugh out loud. Oh, am I the guilty party. I have two friends that I cook/bake with all the time, taking turns in each other homes. I have been known to drag my kitchenaid, cuisinart, ice cream maker, pasta machine to their house until each of them got one of their own. Have also been known to give them gifts of other smaller kitchen things that I had to have to work with when cooking in their kitchens. We bitch and moan at each other through the cooking process. However once everything is served, a good glass of wine in each of our hands we toast and laugh and plan our next coordinated dinner while stuffing our faces. This has been going on for over 20 years while raising husbands, kids and dogs.

    Comment by Maureen — February 14, 2007 #

  12. If I’m responsible, I’m an alpha prima donna (not just in the kitchen). If it’s someone else’s domain, I’m the perfect beta/sub/bottom, I’ve been told – by a dominatrix friend with/for whom I was cooking :-). (She thought it was cute how I switched from alpha to beta and back. Other friends are less thrilled with it.)

    With my ex-wife, we took turns cooking. We simply couldn’t cook in the same kitchen at the same time. We were each alpha at the same time then. Not good; not good at all.

    Comment by Dan Jenkins — February 15, 2007 #

  13. Maggi– When you said you brought your own knives, I had this vision of showing up for a party with a bandolier of knives strapped across your party dress.

    Comment by Dan Jenkins — February 15, 2007 #

  14. I’m a college student, and when I go home, my mother and I have big problems with the kitchen because we’re both such alpha cooks. Part of the reason I’m not living there during grad school (which will be local to my family) is so that I can have my own kitchen. My mother taught me how to cook, although I’ve learned a lot on my own since then, and she hovers when I’m cooking around her, criticizing my knife skills or how I’m washing the lettuce.

    On the other hand, I love cooking with other people, as long as they aren’t my mother, and one of my best dates ever involved trying out a recipe for chocolate cake with raspberry coulis together.
    I do have some unfortunate alpha cook tendencies, like freaking out at the mention of crisco pie crusts, and I confess to looking horrified when I asked my girlfriend to find a sifter in her dorm’s kitchen and she came back with what she thought was a sifter, but was actually a colander.

    I, uh, agree with all the people who are particular about knives. I’m helping cook for Passover at my college, and I’ve already started looking for metal-handled versions of my two essential knives (metal-handled so that we can switch them between Passover and not Passover). The year before last, the food processor failed, and I ended up chopping a mountain of apples with a creaky old knife that was held together with tape(!).

    Comment by MiriRose — February 15, 2007 #

  15. (I should have mentioned this) My mother learned to slice vegetables at a macrobiotic restaurant, and her skill at it is freaking amazing, but hard to live up to.

    Comment by MiriRose — February 15, 2007 #

  16. I’m another alpha cook. My husband is French and knows good food and can follow a recipe but he seems pretty clueless to me in the kitchen. One night he made the 10 minute rice without measuring a thing. Just dumped some rice into alot of boiling water and when it was done, drained it, put it on a plate and put a chunck of butter on top. This just seemed strange to me. He likes most of what I cook but is really big on the chicken being extremely well cooked with no pink showing. He will put dishes into the dishwasher and calls that cleaning the kitchen but he leaves the pots and pans I cooked with sitting on the stove. Ah, the joys of marriage. I’m pretty much alpha in everything, really. Comes with age I think.

    Comment by Linda — February 15, 2007 #

  17. Linda: That method of cooking rice is actually common in some parts of the world (but not France I don’t think). The wonderful book “The Seductions of Rice” has a lot of info on it.

    I mostly cook rice the absorbtion way, or use the rice cooker. But for one particular kind of rice – South Indian rosematta rice – I do cook it like pasta, exactly like you described. And it turns out great.

    Comment by Diane — February 15, 2007 #

  18. I completely relate to your story about trying to teach Zak to cook. I did the same thing to my poor husband. And I’m not even a very skilled cook — no training from a parent or class, just making it up as I go — so I have no excuse. Of course, I do the same thing to my husband when I’m trying to teach him stuff on the computer (I’m a web designer). I really am trying to be more patient. However, my husband is the dish washer, and if I attempt to load the dishwasher he usually ends up re-loading it because the way I do it drives him crazy. :-)

    The problem is, I like cooking, but don’t have the time or energy to do it every night. Also, I don’t think it quite fair that I spend so much more time cooking than my husband spends cleaning up, so then I get resentful about cooking. We’re trying to come up with a better system where we both feel we’re doing an equal amount of work but not wearing ourselves out. The new system we just started is for me to cook on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays with leftovers other nights and eating out one dinner, and just sandwiches or salads for lunch. Husband will still clean up each night. We’ll see how it works.

    Comment by Zoe — February 15, 2007 #

  19. I don’t think I’m an alpha or a beta. I’m perfectly happy to follow someone else’s instructions, to ask them if there’s a particular way they want the veggies chopped. But I can also take charge and give the directions.

    My boyfriend and I cook dinner for each other often enough that we both know the other one is a good cook. As a result, if we’re cooking together, we each trust the other one’s techniques, even if they’re unfamiliar, and are not hellbent on changing them.

    As far as dividing the workload is concerned, sometimes we each take charge of a dish, but often it depends on whose kitchen we’re in. Whoever is hosting and bought the groceries and planned the meal takes the lead, and the other one plays sous chef if there’s that much work to do.

    I suspect that once we get around to sharing a place, we’ll be just as likely to pop into the kitchen on our own time and whip up our own meals separately, like roommates as opposed to marrieds.

    Comment by Indefatigable — February 15, 2007 #

  20. I had to learn how to bite my tongue when my young son tried to help in the kitchen one fateful Thanksgiving. I gave him the can of jellied cranberry sauce and asked him to put it in the dish and slice it up. When he came back about 10 minutes later, it was a big pile of little itty bitty pieces. I went bolistic. It took me a while (a couple of years) to realize that I had really hurt him deeply over something that really didn’t matter. Thank God he still loves to cook and is now working in a steakhouse in Montana.
    As to my husband, he’s getting better at helping out. Sometimes I think that he should just know how to do things because that’s the way I do it and hasn’t he been watching all these years?? Uh, no. Usually, he’s in front of the TV while I’m in the kitchen getting dinner on the table.
    I appreciate this topic and am glad to know that I’m not the only one in the world who expects her everyone to “just know” what needs to be done. I’m getting better at letting the little things go.
    Thanks for your blog, it’s the best thing out there!!

    Comment by Valerie — February 15, 2007 #

  21. You guys reminded me about cooking at other’s houses (which I haven’t done in years). There was a time I actually traveled with a large canister of spices in my trunk, everywhere I went, so I would always have exactly what I wanted when I wanted it. I also had a really nice hand mixer that came with it’s own carrying case, and a few other things (I never cooked at home, only at other people’s houses). Right up until the day my car got broken into and I woke up to all my stuff gone. I thought the cops were gonna bust a gut laughing when I told them what was stolen.

    Comment by Cris — February 15, 2007 #

  22. My husband and I are both alpha cooks and what we’ve learned is that either one of us stays out of the kitchen or one of use will “assist” the other.

    Whoever is cooking the main course is the chef for the evening and the other helps in prepping things for side dishes and salads and takes orders from the other.

    I have found that I’ve gotten much more laid back as the years have passed, which helps a great deal.

    Comment by Jennifer D. — February 15, 2007 #

  23. I can be either. If it’s a dish I know, or I’m teaching someone else (either technique or generally), then I usually take charge to a greater or lesser extent. If I’m doing something new with someone or a dish they know, I take their directions. But I can definitely be impatient as a teacher at times. :(

    I’m only particular all the time about equipment, especially knives and then food processor/hand blender.

    Comment by Alexis — February 15, 2007 #

  24. I try not to be possessive of the kitchen, even though I’m the main cook. We have a very tiny kitchen, with not much counterspace for prep, which makes it difficult to share the space. But I’m thrilled when my partner wants to help out–he has really great knife skills, which I do not. Unfortunately, he’s not that interested most of the time. Do I want to do anything to discourage him from helping to cook? Hell no! Kindly encouragement all the way.

    When I’m in other people’s kitchens, I mostly try to stay out of the way unless given something to chop or stir. Definitely a beta there.

    Comment by Ellen — February 15, 2007 #

  25. I have cooked in a kitchen with Barb more than once. Let me, as an Alpha in my own kitchen, make a few statements/observation:

    #1)If you know what your doing, you will be busy doing it and out of her way. IF you do not, see #2

    #2)Ask your question and move on. It is not question, discussion and then answer.

    #3)Keep people from congregation in the work area. She can talk with her hands and can punctuate with a knife quite convincingly. You do not want to get “semi-colond”.

    #4)If your not helping, your not helping!

    Really, she makes it sound like she is a cross between Genghis Khan and Julia Childs in the kitchen, but she’s not.

    Quite frankly, she is a professional.

    -=Bryian=-

    Comment by Bryian — February 16, 2007 #

  26. Well…
    I was thinking all the while you were writing, “Well, which am I?” My husband would say that he is the Alpha chef and I am the Alpha patisserie. He never tells me how to make a dessert. But I don’t think it’s all that simple in our kitchen. For all our power struggles in our relationship, the kitchen is the one place that we come into harmony. We both recognize our strengths and weaknesses and we let the other shine, happily. He is a sauce making god and I bake and soup like no one’s business. He is more precise and he stir fries exquisitely.

    In our case the kitchen does not exacerbate the problems in our relationship, it glorifies the good in our partnership.

    Comment by Robbin — February 16, 2007 #

  27. It is an honor, as your father-in-law, to be beta to your alpha. At least when I am in my own home I can be the alpha and that is all that really counts

    Comment by Karl — February 17, 2007 #

  28. I’m not sure about me…
    I think I can be quite alpha, not wanting anyone in my kitchen when I cook, but actualy I live with a former profesional cook…
    My speciality is baking and vegetarian cooking, and his is meat so we complete each other well.
    I do the everyday cooking generaly, but when he is cooking I’m glad to help him and learn if I can.

    Comment by plume — February 18, 2007 #

  29. I confess, both I and my wife are Alphas. When she cooks, I stay out of the kitchen and vise-versa. Besides, our kitchen is really too small for two people to operate in comfortably anyway.

    Comment by Dave — February 18, 2007 #

  30. Nika–I am glad to know that another blogger picked this story up! I was kind of surprised that it wasn’t more mentioned out in the foodblogosphere, because it is still one of the most emailed articles from the recent editions of the NY Times. It is making ripples out there among readers all over the country and probably the world.

    It is great to hear from everyone–and I hope to hear from some more folks on this story. It is fascinating to see how others negotiate the shoals of cookery in their own kitchen domains!

    I wanted to say, though, that one great thing happened as an upshot to this post–Zak wants to learn how to cook again. He has been cooking scrambled eggs in the morning for the two of us, and as a result his confidence in his own abilities is returning. So, he said, he wanted to learn to make other simple dishes so that I don’t have to be the sole cook in the house, especially now with Kat breastfeeding exclusively, and when she has a growth spurt, nearly continuously. (It is really hard to cook with a baby at the breast. It is just a thing. However, with the help of a new laptop/reader’s desk, I have found that I can write with her on my lap eating. WOOHOO!)

    He also stated he wanted to learn to cook Indian food. I am thrilled! I am also certain that I am better able to teach him, now that I know where I went wrong.

    I also wanted to answer a few comments personally–Karl–I am honored to cook with you and for you in any capacity, even if there have been times I have cooked in your kitchen and told you to get out. (Those would be for dinner parties I was giving in Miami, and using Karl’s kitchen as a base, as it is hard to move a kitchen from Ohio to Miami. It just doesn’t fit in a carry-on bag very well.) When you are cooking in your kitchen, however and all I am doing is helping, I am pleased to let you take charge. Even if you are sloppier than I am…… ;-)

    Bry–I -can- be like a combination of Ghengis Khan and Julia Child! It is true. It is just also true that you have a thick skin about such things.

    You are also correct–while I may grit my teeth and generally growl through them if I am in the midst of a stressful cooking situation, I tend to act professionally. Tantrums are beneath the dignity of a professional, and I will not have them. Besides, cooking knives are not meant to be thrown….. ;-)

    Comment by Barbara — February 19, 2007 #

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